Advice From A Big Sister

My thirteen year old brother got a phone this year. Two years before I ever got my first phone and he's definitely been flexing on me. The first time he actually texted me about something other than telling me about how he got a new phone was to ask me if it would be weird if he added me on Snapchat (I let him add me, but tbh his stories give me PTSD to my middle school years and I don't appreciate it). Other than that, the only reason he texts me is to ask if he can have my food when I'm not home, to get him food on my way home from work, or to play me in iMessage games during class.

This is Adam. 

But the other day, he texted me something else. Right before he went to bed, as if he wanted to go to sleep before he could see my response, he sent me this ....

First of all, of course you're broke. You are thirteen and you have no source on income... Also, what a mood lol. 

A year ago, I would've laughed and said no. Maybe in a few months ago, I still would've said no. 

Having a sibling with a significant age gap in between is tough. Mine is five years younger than me and a boy (ew). It's kind of hard to bond over things. I tried to when we were younger! I really wanted a sister, so I used to dress my brother up in my old dresses and do his hair. My mom was not happy about it. 

Here's evidence of the dress up I was talking about...

The process was rough. My brother (to this day) doesn't like people messing with his hair. In hindsight, maybe it's PTSD...

But regardless, the ends justified the means. 

We don't really fight-fight over stuff. Usually it's because someone didn't unload the dishes or is being annoying. Usually I'm the one who didn't unload the dishes and usually he's being annoying, occasionally it's vice versa. We kind of just mind our own business? It's hard to have a conversation with my brother. I don't need to be telling him about who is sending who nudes at my high school and I don't really care for who beat who at Fortnite at his middle school. I think the most we bond is over mutual embarrassment of our parents when they're being weird in public. One time, my brother and my parents went out of town without me and he sent me a picture of my parents holding hands and said "help me". That's the closest I've ever gotten to affection from my little brother. Okay that's a lie. I always love my brother's birthday presents for me - $20 cash folded up in an envelope made of taped-together printer paper that's left on my desk for me when I wake up (never handed to me in person). This year, he went a step further and gave me the cash AND a gift card for gas money because he knows I always complain about paying for gas. He even wrote a note on the printer paper. "Sorry this isn't as cool as AirPods. I hope you get into whatever college you want to". Yeah, I might've cried. It's fine. 

Maybe it's the fact that I'm about to go to college or maybe it's the few times my mom has pulled me aside to lecture me about my behavior because my brother is picking up on my attitude, but I get emotional whenever I think about leaving my brother. I get emotional thinking about leaving in general for a bunch of different reasons. 

When it comes to my brother, all I can think about is "Is he even going to miss me?". It sounds quite sad now that I'm typing it out. I still haven't said it out loud. I'm terrified that all the years we spent minding our own business is going to result in distance, not just the physical kind. I see my friends with these beautiful relationships with their older siblings and I want that. My brother is about to be a FRESHMAN in high school! Like are you kidding me??? Even now, I can see the hints of teenage angst showing in my brother. And it worries me that I won't physically be at home to help. 

These past couple of months (and for the few months I have left), I've been trying to make up for lost time. I think that's why I said yes to helping my brother pay for his video game. The other day, my mom mentioned to me how happy and surprised my brother was that I agreed. I guess I'm trying to be the big sister that he deserves, the big sister he might even miss. 

So this is my advice as a big sister, daughter, and friend. Getting ready for college isn't just about applying, maintaining grades, and having fun senior year - it's realizing what relationships you want to repair, end, or create before you leave. Stop saying you've been meaning to do something and please just do it. Whether it's family, friends, exes, or teachers - time is fleeting for everyone. 

For now, I'll just cry over these baby pictures...

See?! I AM a good big sister. 

This is my mom's favorite picture of us. 

I told him we could both fit on his car. 

We were entrepreneurs with our very own car washing business. I made him do the washing and I sprayed the hose. 

My favorite part about this picture is the old man in the back.

No comment.

He got mad that I blew out his candle on his 2nd birthday.

So for his 3rd birthday I made him a cupcake.