5 Things I Learned Junior Year of High School

1. You will not be friends with the same people you were with at the beginning of the year --- and that's okay.

If you told me this freshman year, or even sophomore year, I would've laughed in your face and said "Yeah, but these are my best friends. Nothing can come between us, not even high school". Well, freshman/sophomore me is pretty lonely now. The people she knew then have moved, changed, or flat out left her in the dust. Me? I'm okay now. It was really painful at first, to let go of these people that I love so dearly (notice, present tense). Nobody tells you that junior year is when the real puberty happens. People start growing up, making choices that will affect their future, falling in love for real (the heartbreak being just as real). School is incredibly hard, but nothing is as hard as saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye. There's no big fallout. No dramatic fight scene. Not even bad blood. You just go your separate ways. And you might lose some friends, but I promise you will make some new ones too. Eventually, you'll have the courage to get up one day and sit with that really nice girl that you've been meaning to get to know. She'll welcome you with open arms, great music, and you'll meet the amazing people who sit with her too. And you won't look back. 

2. Find a teacher you can depend on. 

If you've never had a teacher that you can go to for advice, a laugh, some encouragement, or simply because you don't have anywhere to sit at lunch - you're really missing out. Having a mentor like that is so underrated. I can't tell you enough, junior year is a different kind of monster and trust me, you will want an adult (who is not your mom) to tell you that you will be okay. And in the moment, when you're pissed about stupid high school drama or frantically cramming for a test, when your teacher tells you "it'll be okay, this stuff won't matter in the future", you'll want to scream and throw your pencil in their face because it most certainly wOn't BE oKAy. But you will need that support system more than you know. So shout out to Mrs. Van Putten, the MVP, you give the best hugs and your class makes even the worse days better. To Mr. Taylor, thank you for letting us sit in your class for lunch, for encouraging my love of history, and for telling me it'll be okay when I'm clearly not okay. To Mr. Youngblood - my prose piece would not have made it to FINALS (wow I'm still in shock) if it weren't for you, your little texts on Remind make my day, Tomball doesn't deserve you anyways. And finally, to Mr. Patterson - actually, I just really hated your class, I wanted to die the majority of the time, but I guess you made me laugh on occasion, sorry for being a brat sometimes. 

3. It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life yet. 

I'm the kind of person that likes to have everything planned out - graduate high school with honors, get into the university of my choice, meet my future husband and be married by the time I graduate college, do some traveling, get into med school, start popping out babies in my third year of med school...you know, the usual. But to be completely honest, I didn't even come to terms with the fact that I might want to be a doctor until this year. I've changed my mind so many times, there's a good chance I'll change my mind again. And that's terrifying because that'll throw off my whole beautifully designed plan. But that's life. Planning the future and setting goals can be fun (private island here we come), but you can't let it take over what's happening right now. Living in the moment with no regard for what's to come is dumb and so is mapping out your life on a timeline. (As if I'll be married by the time I get out of college lol). Whether you know exactly what you want to do in the future or you have absolutely no clue, you just have to keep doing life. I had too many panic attacks this year worrying about things that are out of my control. Trust in God and/or have faith that it'll work out in the end. 

4. Don't take out your stress on other people.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm an anxious person. When I'm especially anxious I either 1) cry 2) take a nap or 3) lash out at the people around me. My mom is usually the one that bears the brunt of my stress, simply because she's always around. And she doesn't deserve it. Neither do my friends who I sometimes snap at when they come at me at the wrong time. You're going to be stressed junior year, there's no way out of that one. But that's no excuse to hurt the people around you. Your friends and family, however easily accessible, are not a punching bag. They are the ones keeping you sane, whether you realize it or not. When you feel stressed, sit alone in your car and ugly cry, take a nap, go for a run, or bake some cookies. Do something that makes you happy. And instead of yelling at your mom when she asks what's wrong, give her a hug. You'll feel a lot better, trust me. 

5. HAVE FUN!!!

If there's one thing I regret about junior year besides all of it, it's that I took it too seriously. It's a rough year, don't get me wrong. But I wish I took more time out to do things for myself. I wish I read more books. I wish I didn't work as much. I wish I spent more time doing dumb and reckless things with my friends. I may have let go of a lot of people, the number of friends I have now can be counted on one, maybe two hands. But it is these people that I look back and think that maybe it wasn't so bad. Some of my favorite days were when I stopped caring so much and appreciated being seventeen and stupid. Having fun seems like such a cheesy lesson, but the simplicity of those two words is incredibly important. Life can be simple if you want it to be.

 "Fly far and fly fast, don't worry about crashing." - D.Y. 

To the people who made this year brighter (I know I don't have pictures of everyone) with memories I will never forget - you have my whole heart.